Discernment Counseling in Montclair, NJ

Clarity, not pressure.

Support for couples on the brink of divorce or separation.
Offering online and in-person sessions.

Are You and Your Partner at a Crossroads?

Not every couple comes to therapy ready to work on the relationship. Sometimes, one person is leaning out, unsure if staying is even the right decision. The other may be leaning in, wanting to save the relationship but feeling desperate, confused, or alone.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not broken, you’re in a painful and complex place. Discernment Counseling was designed for this very moment.

What Is Discernment Counseling?

Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured process (typically 1–5 sessions) for couples where one or both partners feel uncertain about the future of the relationship. It’s not couples therapy. It’s a space for clarity.

In Discernment Counseling, we work together to answer one central question:

Should we work to repair the relationship, or is it time to separate or divorce?

As your therapist, I don’t take sides or push an agenda. My role is to hold space for each of you, individually and together, so you can make the most informed, respectful decision possible.

Who Is It For?

Discernment Counseling may be a good fit if:

  • One of you is seriously considering separation or divorce

  • You’ve tried therapy before but never fully engaged

  • One partner is “all in,” while the other is emotionally distant or ambivalent

  • You feel stuck and don’t want to keep going in circles

This process offers a safe space for truth-telling, emotional honesty, and clear next steps, without the pressure to fix everything right away.

What to Expect in a Session

Discernment Counseling is structured differently from traditional couples therapy:

  • Sessions are longer (1.5 to 2 hours) and include time together and individually.

  • Each partner has private time with me to reflect on their perspective and needs.

  • You’ll be supported in identifying your role in the relationship dynamic, whether you choose to stay or not.

  • The process typically lasts 1 to 5 sessions, depending on your individual needs.

By the end of our work, most couples walk away with one of three paths:

  1. Status quo (put the decision on hold)

  2. Commitment to separation or divorce

  3. Commitment to 6 months of couples therapy with divorce off the table

No matter which direction you choose, you’ll have greater clarity, and that alone can be a gift.

Why I Offer Discernment Counseling

As a seasoned couples therapist, I’ve seen how painful it can be when couples try to “do therapy” while one partner is halfway out the door. It rarely leads to meaningful change, and often deepens resentment.

Discernment Counseling provides a much-needed pause. It gives each partner a chance to reflect, speak honestly, and decide from a place of grounded awareness, not fear or pressure.

I’m here to hold that space for you, with compassion and skill.

Investment

Discernment Counseling is offered at the following rates:

  • Initial session (2 hours): $575

  • Subsequent sessions (90 minutes): $425

Please note: Sessions often run longer than traditional therapy to allow for deeper reflection.
I am not available for court testimony of any kind.

Ready to Take the First Step Toward Clarity?

Whether you're leaning in, leaning out, or feeling completely unsure about the future of your relationship, Discernment Counseling offers a compassionate space to find clarity. Your uncertainty is welcome here, and your decision will be respected, not rushed.

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today to explore if Discernment Counseling in Montclair, NJ, is the right next step for your relationship.

Stevette Heyliger, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Montclair, NJ, specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples and individuals. Deeply committed to helping people heal disconnection and build emotionally safe, loving relationships, Stevette supports clients in breaking painful cycles, repairing trust, and fostering secure emotional bonds.

In addition to weekly couples therapy sessions in NJ, Stevette offers 3 day private Couples Intensives—a focused, in-depth experience for partners who want to dive deeper, faster. These intensives are ideal for couples in crisis, those with limited time for weekly sessions, or anyone seeking a meaningful relationship reset.

Whether you're seeking couples therapy in Montclair or virtual therapy anywhere in New Jersey, Stevette provides a compassionate, nonjudgmental space where both partners can feel seen and supported. She is also a founding member of the Caribbean EFT Community, working to expand access to EFT throughout the Caribbean.

FAQ’s about

Discernment Counseling

  • Couples therapy assumes both partners are committed to working on the relationship. Discernment Counseling is for couples where at least one partner is unsure. The goal isn’t to fix the relationship, it’s to gain clarity about whether to try.

  • It’s ideal when both partners attend, but if your partner is unwilling, we can still explore your side of the dynamic in a one-time or short series of sessions to help you gain insight and direction.

  • Most couples attend 1 to 5 sessions. The goal isn’t ongoing therapy but a brief process that supports a clear, respectful decision about your future.

  • No. My role is to create a non-judgmental space for you to understand yourself, each other, and your options more clearly. You’ll make the decision together.

  • Wonderful. If both of you commit to six months of couples therapy with separation off the table, we’ll transition into therapy, or I’ll refer you to someone if needed.