What Is Brainspotting? When You Understand the Pattern but Still Feel Stuck
Close-up of a woman’s face, focusing on her eyes as she looks to the side.
Sometimes the first thing you know is that you do not feel like yourself.
Your mind keeps going, even when you want to rest. You finish work, but you are still carrying the day into your evening. A conversation with your partner leaves you feeling hurt or angry long after it ends.
Or perhaps there is a heaviness you cannot quite explain. You are getting things done, but they take more effort. You feel less interested, less connected, or more critical of yourself than you want to be.
You might describe it as anxiety, feeling depressed, or being overwhelmed. You may simply say, “I’m tired of feeling this way.”
In my individual therapy practice in Montclair, NJ, I want to understand what those words mean in your life. Brainspotting is one approach I use to help give attention to the feelings and experiences that may be difficult to put into words.
When Your Mind Will Not Settle, or Everything Feels Heavy
Anxiety can show up as worry, tension, or a sense that you need to stay on top of everything. You might replay conversations, anticipate problems, or find yourself unable to relax even when nothing needs your attention right now.
Feeling depressed may involve sadness, low energy, disconnection, or the sense that ordinary tasks have become harder. Sometimes you notice how harshly you speak to yourself. Sometimes you feel very little at all.
These experiences can have different causes. We begin by understanding yours: when they show up, how they affect you, and what support you need.
Alongside that conversation, I am interested in what happens as you speak. You might notice your chest tighten when you talk about work, or a weight in your stomach when you think about disappointing someone. You may feel tears coming and quickly tell yourself there is no reason to be upset.
Those moments can help us understand what needs care.
Giving Painful Feelings Some Room
You may have become very practiced at moving past what hurts.
You stay busy. You tell yourself other people have it harder. You explain why you should not feel this way, or keep going because there are people depending on you.
Sometimes that has helped you get through a difficult day. Yet there may be feelings that have had very little space to be acknowledged.
In our work together, we can gently approach those feelings with curiosity and support. We might notice the sadness underneath a familiar frustration, the fear that comes with a disagreement, or the pressure you feel to prove that you are doing enough.
There is no need to force an explanation or go further than you can manage. I stay attentive to your experience, and we can pause, slow down, or shift our focus as needed.
Making room for pain can begin with something as simple as recognizing, “This has been hard for me.”
What Is Brainspotting?
Brainspotting was developed by psychotherapist David Grand, Ph.D., in 2003. The approach brings attention to eye position, emotions, and physical sensations within a supportive therapeutic relationship.
During a session, we may find a place for you to rest your gaze while you notice what comes up around a concern. I may use a pointer to help locate that position. You might notice tension, sadness, a memory, a thought, or something that is difficult to name.
There can be conversation and there can be quiet. You do not need to keep explaining your experience or work out what it means as it unfolds.
My role is to stay present, follow your pace, and help you remain connected to the process. We make room for your experience without deciding in advance what you should feel.
How Does This Connect to Anxiety or Feeling Depressed?
We begin with something that matters to you now.
If work follows you home, we might explore what happens when you try to stop for the day. Is there worry about what you have missed? A feeling that resting means you are falling behind? A sense that whatever you do is never quite enough?
If you feel heavy or disconnected, we might begin by noticing that heaviness together. You do not have to find a story to explain it before it deserves attention.
If conversations with your partner leave you feeling intensely hurt or angry, we can explore what happens in those moments and the feelings that are difficult to stay with.
Brainspotting offers a way to include those emotional and physical experiences in the therapeutic work. As part of your care, we pay attention to how you are responding and whether the work is helping with the concerns that brought you here.
What Might Feeling Different Look Like?
In my work with clients using Brainspotting, some have described feeling better about themselves, being more able to relax outside work, or feeling less overwhelmed by hurt and anger during difficult conversations with a partner.
These are individual experiences, and each person’s process is different. They point to changes that can matter in everyday life: being home and feeling more present, meeting yourself with greater kindness, or having more room to respond when something goes wrong.
We can talk about what you hope will feel different and return to those goals as we work together.
You Can Begin Without Having All the Words
You may know you feel anxious or low without knowing where to start. You may be unsure whether what you have experienced “counts” as something worth bringing to therapy.
You can begin with what you notice: the racing thoughts, the heaviness, the exhaustion, or the moments when you feel unlike yourself. We will take time to understand the broader picture and discuss an approach that fits your needs.
I offer individual therapy and individual therapy intensives, with Brainspotting included when appropriate. If you would like to explore working together, you are welcome to schedule a complimentary 15-minute consultation.
There is room here for what you have been carrying, including the parts you have found difficult to explain.